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[furryclan]  |  [furryclan] forums  |  Jokes and freaky stuff  |  Topic: Jokes and freaky stuff volume 1 « previous next »
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Author Topic: Jokes and freaky stuff volume 1  (Read 309672 times)
[predaeus]
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Re: Jokes and freaky stuff
« Reply #15 on: 2003-04-02 15:14:44 »

whats a minger?



nm ill take cover anyway... /me sounds the horn "tuuuuut dive! dive!"
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nN
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Re: Jokes and freaky stuff
« Reply #16 on: 2003-04-02 15:16:37 »

It was anal eaze not lubriderm you stupi..er...I mean.....no....



www.mingers.com
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Re: Jokes and freaky stuff
« Reply #17 on: 2003-04-02 15:18:33 »

It says here in your medical records that you told doctors "I was cleaning myself and I went off."
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[Longbow]
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Re: Jokes and freaky stuff
« Reply #18 on: 2003-04-02 16:59:45 »



Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best

patients to operate on.



The first surgeon says, "I like accountants on my

operating table, because

when you open them up, everything inside is

 numbered."



The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try

electricians. Everything

inside them is colour coded."



The third surgeon says, "No I really think

Librarians are the best;

everything inside them is in alphabetical order."



The fourth surgeon chimes in. "You know, I like

construction workers. They

always understand when you have a few parts left

over at the end and when

the job takes longer than you said it would."



But the fifth surgeon shuts

them all up when he

observes: "The French are the easiest to operate on.

There's no guts, no

heart, no balls and no spine. Plus the head and ass

are interchangeable."

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[GhostRider]
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120393882 ghostriderusa@msn.com RoddenCJ ghostrider_fc
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Re: Jokes and freaky stuff
« Reply #19 on: 2003-04-03 00:42:00 »

Sweet.  It's so fun to insult the French.  Almost as much fun as Texans, but without all the fistfights after!
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Bavand
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Re: Jokes and freaky stuff
« Reply #20 on: 2003-04-08 16:41:15 »

cheese at you or something.  Could be dangerous. . .  It was George the mailman's last day on the
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Re: Jokes and freaky stuff
« Reply #21 on: 2003-04-08 18:07:35 »

 job after 35 years

> of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same

> neighborhood.

>

> When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted

> by the whole family there, who roundly and soundly

> congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift

> envelope.

>

> At the second house they presented him with a box of fine

> cigars.

>

> The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific

> fishing lures.

>

> At the fourth house, a strikingly beautiful woman in a

> revealing negligee met him at the door. She took him by the

> hand, gently led him through the door (which she closed behind

> him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew

> his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.

> When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed

> him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry

> waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly

> satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was

> pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the

> cup's bottom edge.

>

> "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but

> what's the dollar for?"

>

> "Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today

> would be your last day, and that we should do something special

> for you. I asked him what to give you. He said, 'Fuck him. Give

> him a dollar.' The breakfast was my idea."

i dont think ive played RvS with you, and if
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[furrycat]
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Re: Jokes and freaky stuff
« Reply #22 on: 2003-04-08 18:34:59 »

iday.woul
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Re: Jokes and freaky stuff
« Reply #23 on: 2003-04-08 23:00:00 »

fy character
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[GhostRider]
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120393882 ghostriderusa@msn.com RoddenCJ ghostrider_fc
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Re: Jokes and freaky stuff
« Reply #24 on: 2003-04-09 01:56:42 »

/>


There's an LAPD officer running traffic in a residential neighborhood.  He observes a BMW roll right through a stop sign, so he pulls him over.



As he's approaching the car, the driver rolls down the window and yells at him, "C'mon, c'mon, can we hurry this up?  I'm late!"



The officer asks the man, "Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?"



The man replies, "What am I a friggin psychic?  How the hell do I know why you pulled me over?  What is this, Jeopardy?"



The officer calmly replies, "Sir, you failed to stop at that stop sign right back there."



The man replies, "Jeez, is that all?  You make it seem like the end of the world.  So what if I didn't stop all the way?  There was nobody coming!  And I slowed down!  What more do you want?"



So the officer, having heard enough, pulls the man out the window of the car and begins bashing him on the head with his baton.  After a minute of this, he says to the man, "Now, do you want me to stop or do you want me to slow down?"Well, as long as nobody tells my wife, I'll
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[predaeus]
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Re: Jokes and freaky stuff
« Reply #25 on: 2003-04-09 11:55:50 »

lol...good ones, more more!
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[predaeus]
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Re: Jokes and freaky stuff
« Reply #26 on: 2003-04-10 10:45:42 »

for all the fans of Lord of the Rings, and all the others:



http://www.bbspot.com/News/2003/03/uruk-hai.html
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[gerwalker]
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World Affairs as Seen Through EverQuest
« Reply #27 on: 2003-04-10 16:52:48 »

For fans of EQ, or those who know terminology from EQ:



--[snip]--



US: Ok, putting together a group for an Iraq raid... who's in?



UK: Of course I'm in.



Turkey: Only if someone makes me new armor. Last Iraq raid I lost money on.



US: *sigh* Ok, I can't make your cultural armor, but I'll help pay for it. How much you need?



Turkey: 100k plat.



US: WTF?! Are you smithing the armor out of platinum, ya tard? No frikking way. 30k plat, and that's all I'm offering.



Turkey: Sweet. Ok, I'm in.



Spain: I frikking hate Iraq. They were spawn camping us for frikking EVER, man -- long time ago, but we're still pissed off about it. Meet you at Turkish zone line.



US: Cool, thx.



Italy: Me 2.



Chile: I'm in.



US: Ok, so far, got US, UK, Turks, Spain, Italy, Chile.



Bulgaria: Umm, got room for some lowbies? Thought maybe we could leech some raid xp ...



US: Yeah, sure. Why not. Just don't attack anything. Make sure to set up a /assist US hotkey, ok?



France: Hey all, what's up?



US: Putting together a raid, hitting Iraq.



France: No frikking way, dood. Look, I'm part of Alliance leadership, and I say no way do we go in there. I'm using Alliance veto.



US: WTF? Alliance Veto?



France: Yeah, it's in the guild charter. Me, Germany, US, Russia, and China can all cancel any guild raid event.



Bulgaria: Hey, me and the other Eastern Europeans wanna go ...



France: ROFL, n00b. Your guild got no say in this.



Bulgaria: ,,!,,



Germany: I don't really want to go either.



US: ...



France: Yeah, we veto. No guildies go to Iraq.



US: What about you, Russia.



Russia: Well, if everyone else goes, it's ok, but if France and Germany say no, then that's cool.



US: Jeebus. Dood, show some balls. You used to love going on raids.



Russia: Yeah, but that Afghanistan raid a while back was a disaster. Total group wipe-out.



US: Yeah, but you were in different alliance, man. This is different. Besides, we pwn3d last time we went on Iraq raid.



France: Doesn't matter. I say no.



Spain: .tell US doesn't matter if France doesn't go anyway, he just feigns death anytime he sees combat. He's a bu77munch. Lives next door to me.



Spain: Oops. MT.



France: Oh yeah? Well you skipped that WWII raid completely.



Spain: Only cuz I'd just come back from dueling, was too tired to raid. Besides, you died in first wave, spent the rest of the raid licking dirt and whining.



France: ..!..



US: Guys, c'mon. I'm trying to put this thing together, here... look, I don't care what France says. I'm going, and anyone who wants to come with me can. China, you in?



China: *shrug* Don't feel like it.



US: Ok...



North Korea has challenged you to a duel! Type /duel accept to accept or /duel decline to decline the challenge.



US: /duel decline



North Korea tells you: "Dood u r teh suq. I will r0xxorz u"



You tell North Korea: No thanks, guy. Trying to get a raid going.



North Korea tells you: "Ur just scaerd of teh pwnage"



You tell North Korea: Riiiigh. ESAD, okay? I'm busy.



North Korea taunts you.



/ignore North Korea.



US: How come you're not coming, Germany?



Germany: I'm just not into the violence anymore.



You tell Germany: Bullsh1t, you're just waiting for us to go into Iraq so you can gank France again.



Germany tells you: Ooops. *blush* busted!!



You tell Germany: Dude, why bother? He's green to you.



Germany tells you: It's just satisfying, I guess. It shuts him up for a while, anyway.



France: I'm telling you, if anyone goes, then it'll break the Alliance.



Spain tells you: Whoop-de-sh1t, this Alliance sucks. Let's go anyways.



US: France, wtf is ur problem?



France: I want to send scouts in first. Let them see if any named are up.



US: Ok, how long it gonna take them?



France: Couple weeks, maybe. Months, possibly.



US: MONTHS? WTF???! Dude, I don't want to wait that long. I'll give your scouts a week, at most. We'll reschedule then.



France: I may veto anyway.



US: Yeah, whatever.



/tell Spain Yeah, may have to. He's a dipsh1t.



Bulgaria tells you: If you go, let me know. Me and my lowbie buddies are in.



You tell Bulgaria: Cool, thx. Are you someone's alt?



Bulgaria tells you: Some of us were Russia's buff toons, but we're soloing now.



US: Ok, meet again next week. We'll take things from there.



--[snip]--



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[Longbow]
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Re: Jokes and freaky stuff
« Reply #28 on: 2003-04-10 17:46:23 »

now you have nothing to do dont you
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[predaeus]
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Re: Jokes and freaky stuff
« Reply #29 on: 2003-04-11 12:40:44 »

dunno crap bout EQ but,

thats funny LMFAO!
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